pathfinder

Beautiful visuals and mind numbling anacronistic bullshit, this is unlimited amounts of John Woo style directing from Marcus Nispel.
Disconnect brain and enjoy.

Farce of the Penguins

Avoid

Recon 2022

I thought that a bad space sci-fi was entertainment than the averave vid, Im not so sure now.
The fights and the enemies feels like computer game stuff, lots of subtle game influences.
I'll give it 3/10+space = 5/10

Hitman

Horrible casting, I cannot accept this. Too young too pretty, too fat, 47 should be cut up like a light weight body builder on competition, this guy had hamburger with fries for lunch, just shaving your head and paint a tatto is not enough.

As for the rest is true to the game and not a horrible Uwe Boll movie.

Knight Rider 2008 Pilot

Not at all as patethic as I expected. Sure, there was some cheap effects and TV-grade actors but after all it's a TV series. I think I have to see if the following episodes are equally good. Plot twists were aimed at nine year olds, but not so stupid I started to screen at the TV, which is a good sign.

I give it four TV screens out of five.

Bonus points for a non suprising cameo.

Shoot em Up

This is obviously a rejected "Max Payne the Movie" script, maybe too few hallucinations to make it. Featuring homage to a lot of American b-actions of the eighties and maybe even more to Asian "one man army" movies (switching katanas and kung-fu for gun play) and the silly stunts of slasher movies.

To enjoy this movie you really need to convert those frustrated outbursts of "This is not plausible!" to "LOL this is so silly its fun".

Battlespace

A realy cheap sci-fi.
Set in the far future with genetically enhanced humanoids, this makes all the gadgets and weapons a steampunk feel. Plot holes on all layers of the story, not only confuses but also gives the need for lots of narrating that still doesn't help. The CG is realy low-fi, often surpassed by twenty years old tv-series.
All I can think of is Ed Wood...

Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest

A nice family movie. Well executed in all areas, excellent special effects and costumes. If you liked the fist one you will like this.

Ghostrider

Pathetic, noting more nothing less.
It took alot of Stabrono to keep me from leaving this movie to its misery. I need a way to get 10 again so I can enjoy this kind of movies. Atleast the CG is enjoyable.

Shooter

Just as action movies used to be when I grew up. The good guys are so good at what they do god calls them for advice, the badguys - even when supposed to be elite professionals - are cut down like grass with a lawn mover. The budget of the movie is seen in the lack of gaping huge plot holes (this is more like a net with evenly spaced out small plotholes), and a decent attention to details. I realy like the realistic conspiracy theory, I diddnt think they could get a budget for such political criticism.

Bourne identity

Yay a good 'ol spy movie. Lots of nice fights and a good car chase. Sadly its too much flawless superhero and too litle nailbiting. High quality movie without big gaping plot holes.

Shrek 2

Unsuprising sequel, same thing half as good and alot less funny. Still top of the line commedy. Not much to say, my judgement served me well when I waited until now to see it and I realy nedded to be cheered up.

Wild Zero

Rockabilly, Punk rock, Zombies, a Thai beauty, aliens, "Love has no borders, nationalities, or genders!", this movie got it all, is's a must see, even if the budget is low. Be sure you don't run out of beer while watching.

Taxi 3

The super taxi is back. The jokes are as low as the peugeot is fast. From the french commedy factory industrialized humor. Crafmanship is ok, a good day on the job for the team but its no award winner.

Battlefiled Earth

So I was hoping for a fun turkey award winner, brain damage from gasping for breath of spastic laguhther for hours, what do I get? A movie way better than the crap I watched in the late eighties/early nineties, Lambert,Van Damme et al are not yet beaten in the art of horrible movies.
After five minutes of trying to post this Ive already forgotten most of the movie but Ill try to analyze the failure anway. The story had potential, the screenplay was incoherent the directing was laghuable and the acting was decent (better than day time television). Verdict: A total vase of time.

Gundam SEED

Yet another anime about a teen prodigy. I started watching it due to my old love for mecha (Mech Warrior/Battletech/Mechanized infantry), Instead of getting repetetive and/or silly after a few episodes Gundam Seed manages to inject new interesting plot turns and renew the patriotism/racism -topic.

I give it five brooms (since it doesnt suck)

Tom Yum Goon

I have seen many martial arts movies but none as hard as this one. Its all disguised as an action movie but it's realy is: Tony Jaa goes 100+ Muay Thai matches and wins by K.O. in the first seconds of every match.

Instead of the nice Jackie Chan like flow of Ong Bak, this movie has long series of knock outs with acrobatics merely as a means to the neutralisation of yet another fighter, than part of the actual stunt. The genre progresses, this is a cornerstone of contemporary martial arts movies.

One could also say that its the perfect render of the most ultimate fighting game since Doubble Dragon.

Watch out: this movie is also featuring a ten minute bone-crackathlon, might be too much for testosterone filled teenagers.

Six-String Samurai

"In 1957, the bomb dropped, and the Russians took over what was America.
The last bastion of freedom became a place called Lost Vegas and Elvis was crowned King.
After forty rocking years, The King is dead.
Every guitar picking, sword swinging opportunist, including Death himself, hears the call echoing across the wastelands.

Vegas needs a new King."

If you love Rock 'n' Roll anno 195x, sword fights, martial arts, comic badguys, road movies in far out post apocalyptic environments, cult classics or (preferably) all of the above - you must see it.

A very cool movie.

Graveyard of honour

This is one of the most disturbing movies Ive ever seen. And its not for the usual reasons only, this movie is disturbing on many levels. I felt physically and mentally beten up by this movie.

This is not the movie about a man that became yakuza, it's the story of a man that was born yakuza. It's the story of a man who can make his every dream come through, the ultimate "doer", only that he has such a bad Idea for the perfect life. It's the story of a man living and acting almost purely on instinct. It's the story of a man free of any moral and social rules except honour. (I would soo love a Pablo Francisco trailer for this movie)

More to come when I have reexperienced this amazing movie

Danny the dog

Also known as Jet Li Unleashed.

The director of the transporter, with a script of Luc Besson, staring Jet Li.
The result is a simple but beautiful movie with lots of violent action. Its very similar to Leon (the professional) but only in concepts.

This movie shows that Jet really can act, and that a ten year old boy in a forty year old body really do work some times. Kerry Condon sparkling cuteness much like an anime character, its like if there is a visible cuteness aura surrounding her.

Gozu

Yet another crazy Takachi Miike yacuza movie, this one with a nice Kafka feel and some very disturbing characters. (If you got my strange sense of humor the disturbing means amusing and sometimes hillarious)

Quoting my self again

Just saw it, this is art, maybe its a movie too ;) I like it.

Azumi

If you expect a b-action with cast from day time television. You will be pleasantly surprised. If you on the other hand think about how much money that have been poured into some of the scenes, the sloppy craftmanship might make you dearly disappointed.

Michel Vaillant (2003)

It was long since I saw a movie with such pathetic story. That doesnt matter becuase the racing photo was superb.

Wave Twisters

DJ Qbert scratches an animated movie. Some sections are so intense it almost hurts, some are just strange, but all in all this is great stuff.

A very insightful user comment on IMDB:

If you are a DJ, a techno|hiphop head, or on acid - this deserves a 10.

If you are into animation and like the heavy beats of the DJ world - this film probably deserves an 8 or so...

But if none of the above fit your persona, you'll be bored within 20 minutes - after you realize that "hey, it has no creative story..."

OK, it has no creative story, but I'm too excited to care.

MacGyver - Pilot (first episode)

Apart from the obligatory bending of the laws of nature its a really good series. There is of course a lot of cheese but a lot less than I expected it to be.

Thumbs up, I think I dl some more episodes.

The Last Drop

Horrible, horrible movie.
Everything stinks except the photo, crisp clear a joy to watch.
The script had too many levels of errors for any scene to feel realistic.

X-Men 3 Last Stand

Sometimes the acting and dialogue gets a feel of Plan 9 from outer space. That feel wears off when the story building ends and action begins. Its mostly due to Mr Jackmans poor performance, and big differences in lighting in the green screen studio and the locations the actors are copy-pasted in.

The rest of the movie Is quite OK entertainment.

Fist of legend

Bad remake of a claqssic.
Good cinematics, not so good directing, good fights.
It lacks the spark, I dont recommend it to anyone but martial arts or Jet Li fanatics.
Maybe its just the dubbing that kills the spirit.

Favourite quote: (during a fight)
-What style was that?
-Dont worry Ill show it to you.

Quoting my self on the topic "THE BEST MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE OF ALL TIME":

No, It is very good, but It lacks life/energy/spark/magic -something. Jet Li movies suffers from this a lot (except Danny the dog/unleashed tough).
The fighting is up there with snake in the eagles shadow and Bruce Lee stuff, but unless I can feel the blows and smell the sweat its not perfect.

This is a truly great martial arts movie, but the directing isn't good enough, I'm sitting in a chair watching a movie, that's it. And that's not the way it should be. It should be me experiencing yet another chapter in Chinese history. Its an obvious must see for all martial arts heads of course, but the rest of the world will need something better.

Silverhawk

Pathetic, expensive low budget movie. It picks up speed, geting to the level of Van Damme movies in the end.